ZIEN: de Instagrampagina van deze vader van vier dochters is hilarisch eerlijk

Simon heeft vier dochters. De oudste is negen, dan volgt er eentje van zes, en tien maanden geleden kwam er nog een tweeling bij. 

Hij besliste om zijn Instagrampagina te wijden aan zijn gezin en het ouderschap. De foto's die erop verschijnen, zijn dan ook uit het leven gegrepen en eerlijk. Niks is gefotoshopt en er is geen sprake van speciale belichting of kleine aanpassingen. Simon toont gewoon het leven zoals het is. Met vier dochters, dus. 

 

Everyone is back to school/ work / nursery tomorrow so like the Romans we divided and conquered. After drawing straws I was allocated the twins and given clear instructions. I decided to spice up what was a mudane evening of rules and lists by blow drying and back combing the twins hair into some kind of 80's disco bouffon & laughing at the results (if only i had some tiny power suits with shoulder pads then the look would have been complete). @mother_of_daughters was not so happy. In fact her words were along the lines of 'why have you ruined my babies? Why would you do this to me?!" My response of "because it's funny" was meet with a face that would literally bring a new ice age, followed by 5 minutes of desperate brushing and a bit of spit to deal with the really unruly bits. #seemedlikefunatthetime #dontleavemeinchargeifyouwantsomethi gdoneproperly #twins #bathtime #backtowork. #fod #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on Apr 17, 2017 at 12:40pm PDT

 

Day 6: After a drive down the motorway that involved being ignored by the 2 eldest who may as well have USB sockets graphed into their heads and 2 stops to change babies at Reading and Chippenham I finally made it to my parents. It's the first time this week I've held a conversation with someone over the age of 9 that hasn't involved the words "Yes I'll sign for another of my wife's parcels" Or "Yes that's my child, sorry about that, are they in your way?" Twins and I both had a well deserved drink while the other girls unplugged and trampolined for 3 hours. Bliss. #thankgoodnessforgrandparents #ihaventspokentoanadultin5days #homeatlast #survived #FOD #twins #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on Apr 7, 2017 at 12:30pm PDT

 

No, its not a toy refugee camp for those fleeing hardish under the twins regime, or the end of a teenie boppers music festival, or a scaled down 'occupy' protest – it is in fact my garden. Day 1 without @mother_of_daughters & i strategically steered everyone outside to minimise mess. The girls erected 4 tents and, much like migrating birds, all of their belonging travelled the monumental distance from the cool climbs of the house to the warmth of the outdoors. As I watched armful after armful of clothing, colouring books, bedding, food & electronics rush past me like flood water, I muttered – "remember, you're clearing this up!" – It was said with such little conviction that I didn't even believe it. Sure enough Ive just finished bring it all in again. Now where's that prosecco we were saving for a special occasion.....I'm celebrating as they're all in bed! #occupymygarden #wheresallmyfoodgone #mygirls #soloparenting #toyrefugeecamp #FOD #instadad #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #sansMoD

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on Apr 2, 2017 at 12:39pm PDT

 

@mother_of_daughters is out this evening getting yet another ear piercing (if she gets any more, I'll be able to see through her) so I've got all 4. Like any manager worth his pay grade, I delegated & I left Marnie in charge of the 2 delinquents while I made bottles. I returned to the twins drowning animals in the toilet & dispensing of, what transpired to be, the last toilet roll in the house. Unsurprizingly, like my pay check after 10 days, the 6 yr old had vanished without a trace. If you don't hear from me tomorrow it's because i died on a wet bathroom floor due to getting my arm stuck round the U bend while retrieving a plastic squeaky cow and my dignity. What a way to go. #atleasthedieddoingwhatheloved #toilettombola #baddelegation #myselfrespectisintheresomewheretoo #FOD #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on Jan 30, 2017 at 12:04pm PST

 

Is it only me or do all men learn to sleep on an 8 inch strip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the size of the bed, or how many people are in it, I always find myself relegated to the 'man zone'. I've become so used to sleeping on this limited area of bed real estate, that I'm confident that I could sleep on top of a wall & not fall off. On the other side of the bed (the promised land), @mother_of_daughters sleeps like a star fish all night long, kneeing me in the back and generally complains about me coming to bed too late, being too cold or my foot encroaching onto her territory. At least the bed's nice and warm, even if the reception isn't sometimes! I hope that next Sunday, on #NationalLieInDay, I'll not only gain another hour in bed, but more space – but it's doubtful ! If you want to regain that hour (and some space for that matter) click in the link in my bio, loads of great prizes to be won @SimbaSleep #bedrealestate #livingontheedge #girls #twins #daughters #therestoomanygirls #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #gopro

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on Oct 23, 2016 at 12:00pm PDT

 

I'm literally surrounded by women. As you can imagine, working from home is less than productive. #fatherdaughters #twins #dadlife #fatherofdaughters #mybackhurts #isitbeertimeyet

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on Mar 29, 2016 at 5:34am PDT

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